TOW What Will Be
by writerchic16
Summary: Rachel, recently engaged to Barry, gets a peek into her future. Slight rr


TOW What Will Be

Summary: Rachel, recently engaged to Barry, gets a peek into her future.

* * *

"I love you, soon-to-be Mrs. Farber."

Rachel Green giggled, planting a kiss on her fiancé's lips. "I love you too, soon-to-be husband, Mr. Farber." She shook her head and joked, "It isn't as cute the other way around, is it?"

"It is when you say it." With that, Barry Farber returned her kiss eagerly. He had proposed only a few hours ago. Rachel had wanted to call her friends and show off her ring first, but now they were all alone with nothing to do but…well…what a couple does when they're alone.

Rachel couldn't stop laughing; she was so happy. As cliché as it was, she couldn't imagine how more perfect her life could get. She was filthy rich, in love with a guy who was filthy rich, and had never worked a day in her life. Rachel Green was on easy street, and sincerely hoped she would stay there forever.

Sitting up in bed, Barry asked, "So, how did your friends like that rock on your finger?"

"They wanted to die!" Rachel blurted in pure delight. "Mindy was _glowing _with envy. The diamond on the promise ring her boyfriend gave her couldn't be seen with a microscope!"

"I'm glad I'm a good ring shopper." Barry rolled toward the edge of the bed and stood. Rachel couldn't help but admire his toned chest, which was clearly visible since he was wearing nothing but boxers. Grinning, he headed around the bed for the side door. "Sorry, Rachel, be right back. Nature calls."

Rachel held up her hands. "Hey, men have to do what men have to do." Barry chuckled, then went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

By herself in the giant bedroom, Rachel snuggled further under the silken sheets and let out a contented sigh. She couldn't stop thinking about how lucky she was. Her future was set! She would marry Barry and move into his mansion. Then she would become like her other married friends, who had nothing to do but spend their husband's money. All her decisions would be decided for her. She would be planning fancy parties, and raising the kids that would eventually come. Wait, she wouldn't be doing that – her nanny would. But she'd get the good parts of motherhood and none of the bad! It was Heaven on Earth in the making.

The lighted candle on the dresser opposite her caught her eye. The flame was dancing and casting shadows on the wall. She wasn't sure if it was the shadow or the flame itself, but something about it was making her sleepy. Soon enough, her eyelids fluttered closed.

_She was in some strange apartment, staring into the eyes of a man. He looked vaguely familiar…oh, God, Ross Geller! Monica's geeky older brother she hadn't seen in years! What was she doing with _him

_Suddenly, it was as if she had no control of her mouth. "I do love you."_ _What! What the hell was that about! She loved Barry!_

_He smiled, holding her close. "I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again." _

Again_? What the hell? Rachel thought frantically, then caught a sight of reflection on a window. She was…old! At least in her thirties, with…with…_wrinkles_! And…what was with her clothes? They were a far cry from an outfit she'd pick now. They looked…dare she say it…not expensive! _

_Without warning, words came out of her once more. "Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again."_

_What was with the whole "again" thing? She and Ross had no history whatsoever, romantically speaking! Hold on…the clothes…the wrinkles…was she seeing her future self? _

_Then what was with the cheap clothes and the different man? This couldn't be her future…that's going to be in a mansion with Barry. Not an apartment with Ross. _

_"Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid," Ross replied._

_"Okay. You and me, alright? This is it," Rachel found herself answering._

_Ross was beaming. "This is it. Unless we're on a break." _

_Then Ross was gone, as well as the apartment. She was totally alone in a black background. Gulping, she prayed that either a scene would unfold before her or, luckily, she would wake up from this twisted nightmare._

_She wasn't that lucky. Now she was…in a hospital bed? There was a baby in her arms, a girl. What confused her most were the people surrounding her. There was Monica, Ross, Chandler Bing…and two people she didn't even know. What was up with that? Why would the Gellers be in her delivery room? _

_To name the baby, apparently. She was fairly used to talking against her will by then, so she heard herself inquire, "Well tell us! What are they?"_

_"Umm, okay. If it's a boy it's Daniel," Monica started._

_"And if it's a girl?" She seemed eager to know. Was she having trouble naming the baby? If she was, why would she ask Monica Geller?_

_"I don't want to say," Monica confessed._

_Rachel pleaded, "Oh, just tell us! We're not gonna want it!"_

_"Okay. It's Emma."_

_"Emma" All of a sudden her eyes were filled with tears, threatening to spill. Wow, she was still a crier in ten years…if this ever came true. "See? I don't want it." Whoa, what was that about? If she had been herself now, she wouldn't hesitate to take something she wanted, whether it be baby name or boyfriend._

_"Take it," Monica offered._

_"What?"_

_"It's clearly an Emma."_

_"Oh honey, but you love that name." Rachel was shocked at how considerate she was._

_"Yeah, but I love you more. Besides y'know, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed. I mean…" Rachel gave Emma to Monica to hold. "Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, that's you. You're our little Em. Oh what's that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? You want a cousin right now?"_

_She was in blackness again, but this time with a different feeling in her stomach. She was…happy. That had made her all warm inside. She had been completely at peace, cradling her new daughter. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if this were the real future. _

_Wait…"nothing goes with Bing"? Oh, God, she couldn't believe it! Chandler and Monica had married, even after the toe incident? That would be a surprise if that came to pass. At the rate these dreams were going maybe she was Maid of Honor at their wedding. _

_Or Matron. She never did see who the father was. _

_Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God. Was the father Ross? Was she _married_ to Ross? _

_She caught one last glance at the smiling faces around her before the scene went black another time. _

_What happened next totally and utterly shocked her to the core. She…she…was wearing an apron! In a coffee house! With a coffee pot in hand! What had gone wrong with her life? _

_But…she was smiling. And she felt proud to be holding that coffee, and wearing that apron. She had even asked if anybody wanted more. _

_What had changed? _

_The Rachel in that picture was about the same as she was now…how far into the future was this? _

_And where was Barry? _

_God, did he leave her? _

_Did she leave him? _

_What was going on? _

_Hold it…the picture was slowly changing. Instead of standing, she was sitting at a desk. _Her_ desk. She looked very busy in a spacious office, her desk cluttered, and a very hot assistant waiting to be told what to do. _

_Now this was more like it. _

_She appeared to be involved in fashion. She could hear phrases of conversation, and they all had to do with ordering clothes. The phone was ringing off the hook, and papers couldn't help but be a mess. _

_Hm, a career in fashion. That didn't sound too shabby. Truthfully, it had always been her secret dream to make something of herself in that industry. Maybe even be a designer. But she knew there was no way that could happen. As rich as she was, that career needed skills that she simply didn't have. _

_At the moment, anyway. She had to admit that future Rachel was pretty confident. _

_And then, she wasn't in the office. She was in an apartment again, but this one different. She was standing across from Ross, her hands flung out in pure aggravation. Obviously this wasn't one of their best moments. She was shouting at him. "Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?"_

_"No, but it'd be nice if you realized, it's just a job!" __Her anger level shot up a few notches. He had to be referring to the office job. She wouldn't care so much about being a waitress. "Just a job!"_ _Ross winced. "Yes."_ _"Ross, do you realize this is the first time in my life I'm doing something I actually care about? This is the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm actually good at! I mean, if you don't get that..." "Good at"? She had what looked like an important job and she wasn't a total disaster? _

_"No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time," Ross protested. "And I'm happy for ya, but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don't know what to do anymore."_

_During the next few lines of argument, Rachel couldn't seem to focus on what she was saying. She was stunned. As she was at the moment, this conversation would never happen. She never worked at any relationship she had. The guy fawned all over her, then she dumped him when she got bored. Ross must really be someone special for her to actually have a fight with. Normally she just stopped calling if she wanted to break up, or did a face-to-face if it was convenient._

_She tuned in. She was exasperated and suggested, "I don't know, I don't know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break."_

_Ross went to the door. "Okay, okay, fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yogurt, or something…"_

_"No," Rachel corrected, emotional. "A break from us."_

_Then the blackness. She felt tears in her eyes. She didn't even know what was happening, or why she was even going out with Ross, but that had left her utterly devastated. _

_She was now at a kitchen table, her credit cards strewn across it. Along with a pair of scissors. _

_Was she about to do what she thought she was about to do? Had she gone insane as well as gotten new friends? _

_No! Don't do it!_

_"Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want!" She didn't get this new Rachel. Why was she doing stuff she didn't want to do? She never had to before! _

_"C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life," Monica prodded. Rachel was still confused as to why she was such close friends again with Monica in the first place. That didn't help. _

_"I know that. That's why I was getting married!" She whined. That was weird. Why would she say that? That wasn't true, she loved Barry…right? And _what_ was with Barry not being in these little scenes? _

_The woman she didn't know the name of, the blonde, spoke up. "Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time." _

_"Thank you." _

_"You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel," the woman ranted. Rachel gaped at her, positive she wouldn't know what to say even if she did have control of her voice. _

_Fortunately, Ross quipped, "The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'..." _

_"All right, you ready?" Monica asked, referring back to the scissors and credit cards. _

_Rachel couldn't get over the fact that she was contemplating this. "No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? 'Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?' Come on, I can't do this!" Finally, some trace of original Rachel. _

_"C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,..." Ross chanted softly, the others joining in. _

_She felt herself pick up a card and cut it; heard the other five cheer. " Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture..." Okay, so at least she hadn't gone completely nuts. _

_"Rachel! That was a library card!" Monica chided. _

_Crap. Her supposed friends started up the chanting again, and Rachel began shredding them, one by one. Chandler, who she did remember as being sarcastic, joked, "Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers' scream." _

_Finally the last one was halved, and they burst into cheers again. Monica gave her a hug while exclaiming, "Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!" _

Rachel sat up in bed, gasping for air. It was over, whatever "it" was. She was on the fence between a vision of the future or a dream. A small part of her was hoping it was a vision.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Barry came back into the room. He gave her a quizzical stare as he climbed into bed next to her. "What's with you? You okay?"

"Um…" Rachel trailed, not sure how to respond. Physically, she was fine. But mentally, her thoughts and emotions were all jumbled. She managed a weak smile. "Yeah, great. What took you so long?"

"So long?" Barry repeated. "I was shorter than usual, like less than a minute. I couldn't wait to get back to you." He cuddled her, placing his head on her shoulder.

Rachel felt uncomfortable for some reason. All she could think about was how she had seen what would most likely be important times in her life, and Barry wasn't in a single one. Shifting away from him, she laid on her side. "I'm sorry honey, but is it okay if we just go to sleep? Suddenly I'm not…I'm really tired."

He was disappointed, but Barry kissed her cheek. "Whatever you want. 'Night."

Long after the lights were turned off, Rachel was awake, staring at the ceiling. What _did_ she want?

* * *

"Rachel?"

Rachel looked up. Mindy was next to her, concerned. "Hm?"

"You alright? You seem kind of out of it."

"Oh, no, I'm good. No, in fact, I'm more than good. I'm great. I mean, it's my wedding day, isn't it?" Rachel forced a laugh, playing with the beads on her dress. It was gorgeous; she just wished she could feel happy in it.

Mindy made a face, as if she didn't believe her. "You've been staring at the bow on that present for a good half an hour."

"Well, it's very pretty, isn't it?" Rachel retorted, not sure why she was being so snippy. Her best friend was worried about her. "I'm sorry, I'm really nervous…can you keep a secret?"

Mindy's eyes widened. "I knew something was wrong. Spill!"

Rachel sighed. "I don't know what it is, exactly. I'm trying to be all excited, but this small voice in my head is saying, 'Are you sure about this? Is Barry really the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is this the life you want?'"

Mindy rolled her eyes. "Is that all?"

"Is that _all_? I'm second-guessing my marriage a half hour before the wedding!" Rachel cried, waving her arms in panic.

Mindy put her hands on Rachel's shoulders. "Relax, Rach! Barry's a terrific guy! And why wouldn't you want to live in a mansion and not have to work? Don't worry, blame your doubts on temporary insanity."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Of course you're right." Rachel gave Mindy a hug in gratitude. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now, if you'll excuse me, Barry needed to talk to me about something." The next thing Rachel knew, Mindy was rushing over to the bar, where Barry was waiting.

Rachel narrowed her eyes. For some reason, Mindy hadn't calmed her nerves as much as she would have liked. There were still at least a dozen butterflies in her stomach.

She wandered closer to the present table and noticed a gravy boat sitting at the end. It was beautiful. So beautiful she reached out a hand to finger the handle. She couldn't wait to bring it home.

Huh, that was interesting. She didn't feel the same way about Barry. In all honesty she was dreading the next day. What would they talk about? Their relationship was one where they didn't spend too much of their time talking as opposed to…other things.

Wanting to ignore her second-guessing, she went back to the gravy boat. It was definitely gorgeous. She could see it being passed around the Thanksgiving table, over the turkey, the stuffing, the mashed potatoes…

Potatoes! That's why Barry had seemed so familiar! He looks like Mr. Potato Head! With the nose and the round face…

Oh God, then that would make her Mrs. Potato Head! That couldn't happen! If she were Mrs. Potato head, then she wouldn't be able to have the job she saw or baby Emma or be really, truly in love –

Hold on, that last part…that was it! All this time, tricking herself, telling herself that she loved Barry with all her heart when she knew it wasn't true. There was room for more, a whole lot more, and the dream had told her that if she didn't marry Barry, that room would one day be filled.

That was it. That was the epiphany her life had been waiting for.

Gathering the train of her dress, Rachel cast one last glance around the busy hall before making a beeline for the door. Sure, the real world was going to suck. But she was going to love it.


End file.
